Grinning at my vision board like a Cheshire Cat!

If you have been a follower of my blog posts you might recall the one in September '12 where I revisited my board and accomplishments.

Well well well this evening it was starring me in the face and I couldn't help but grin to myself.

As you know I have a passion for traveling and exploring.This is always a feature on my vision boards every year. Why was I grinning? Picture a Cheshire Cat grin! Well...I was thrilled that I could add "India" to the travel accomplishments for this year!!!! India was an absolutely AMAZING experience. Keep an eye out for the blog post soon!

Aside from that when I glance over all the themes I can say that despite a somewhat challenging September,October and November I have managed to still touch on each of them. Ok ok no no no...My Prince Charming still hasn't arrived nor the "two hot dates". They terribly lost it seems. Maybe they fell off the horse,picked up a Perspex slipper instead of my glass one or possibly lost their bearings. Hee hee! Hopefully he arrives in the new year dressed in his shining armor.

Psssttt...I'm pretty sure there is going to be more to report on before this year is out and keep an eye out for my 2013 Vision board.

Laughter: My theme for November 2012

Apologies for the lack of blogging. During the month of October my soul and I have been spending loads of time behind closed doors in what felt like a remote interrogation room. It's the longest stretch we have spent together confined and facing its absolute bare and raw state. Despite the isolation and solitude of this room I have had my Oprah "Aha" moment in it. My "Personal Breakthrough" that I had up on my vision-board for 2012 has happened. The breakthrough to listen to my heart and soul. I surrendered to opening the door to "Grief." I have never been one to close the door on any visitors to my door however I chose to always look away from this visitor as I guess I knew exactly what sort of gifts he/she was bringing to my doorstep.Grief had become tired of being ignored and sitting out in the cold while I soldiered on. I think I angered him/her as out of nowhere the door was slammed open by force and the gifts were delivered. I could almost hear the jingle playing "Ready or not here I come..you can't hide..."

So yes I am still in the interrogation room and am going through some tough "real talks" but we breaking through. That's the main thing....

The Breakthrough of listening to my whispers of my heart and soul has led me to closing my chapter here in Dubai. I am moulding the last two months of this chapter and then am heading back to S.A shores to be in an environment that will make this time I spend with my visitor a tad more comfortable and bearable. Aside from the crazy piercing physical and emotional pain I am presently experiencing I cannot tell you how at peace I feel around having taken the bold step of listening to the whispers and doing as it says.

Onto my focus for November.."Laughter". I envision lots of laughter through this month to start healing some of the raw bits of this soul.

Wishing you loads of feel good laughter too!

Not long to go now! India awaits...

Today Prasath and I hit Meena Bazaar to get some bits and bobs for the India trip. I managed to pick up some accessories to wear with my saris! Yay! Not long to go now...

Release me? Personal breakthrough journey?

So if this is what people refer to as their "dark moments"...I am in it! The funny part is its not completely dark and all is not lost so just maybe I have fallen down the Alice in Wonderland rabbit hole and can still see a bit of light in the distance. 

Since mum's passing its as if I have been waiting for the good sob to break...the one that comes from your tummy and cleanses and releases...and like the ocean tide it goes and comes back again. I know it's there waiting to break and really thought it would when I was back home in S.A but it didn't come out full blown. Cape Town gets enough rain! 

So as much as I have been meditating and doing all sorts of things to keep my sanity and process everything I think October was a catalyst to get something rolling. I feel like I am one of those small balls on a pin-ball game being hit all over the place. Each of the targets are my different emotional buttons waiting to be hit which in turn triggers my emotions. I have been doing oh so well processing and keeping my chin up to the sun and then Life decided to remind me that  "Grief" must pass my door no matter what I do to keep it at bay or even if I felt I was ready with open arms to welcome him or her I am not invincible to emotion and tears. I think I have been more so holding back as I keep telling myself that the people I have here cant relate to or understand the journey I have walked and my circles here might not be equipped to or would like to face topics such as these. 

Well the tears have started to roll,my body goes through some crazy aching and my heart feels like there are bricks sitting on it from time to time. I have been reading up on the visitor called "Grief" and am learning more and more about his/her characteristics. There is no way to way escape but to experience the pain and let it be. So here I am allowing that pinball machine to continue shooting me around and I thank you for supporting me, understanding me and I thank you for being there for me in your own way. I don't want to hear that "Life goes on" as yes it does however I need to feel and welcome the journey and let it ride. Be there for me  in your own way and space....

I'm not sure if what what I am feeling is my personal breakthrough journey breaking through as well which I had wanted for 2012 but whatever it is its coming to the surface and I am going to make it a beautiful experience. 

Sharing an except a good friend of mine sent me yesterday from "The Invitation-Oriah"

It doesn't interest me

what planets are 

squaring your moon...

I want to know

if you have touched

the centre of your own sorrow

if you have been opened

by life's betrayals

or have become shrivelled and closed

from fear of further pain.

I want to know

if you can sit with pain

mine or your own

without moving to hide it

or fade it

or fix it.

I want to know

if you can be with joy

mine or your own

if you can dance with wildness

and let the ecstasy fill you 

to the tips of your fingers and toes

without cautioning us

to be careful

to be realistic

to remember the limitations

of being human.

It doesn't interest me

if the story you are telling me

is true.

I want to know if you can

disappoint another

to be true to yourself.

If you can bear

the accusation of betrayal

and not betray your own soul.

If you can be faithless

and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty

even when it is not pretty

every day.

And if you can source your own life

from its presence.

My "Pink Tea" experience

As some of you might of picked up off my Facebook updates or off some other source I recently on a whim entered a work competition to name a pink cake that would be served at the Burj Al Arab hotel in honor of breast cancer awareness through the month of November '12. 

I submitted the name "Think Pink" which immediately flashed to mind. Think Pink was the name of one of my blogs that I had in my early Cape Town days. It was named by Aroon and of course this name has all to do with my love for the color pink. 

So...I submitted the name for the competition and I and another lady won runner up and she submitted the same name as me.The winner was from my department too and he named the cake "Bella Rosa". We three won a photo shoot at the hotel and the photo was going to go up on the hotel's fb page. At the photo-shoot the signature pink ribbon was illuminated onto the front of the hotel which would be lit up every Thursday evening and we were given a pink ribbon to wear. 

We also won a gift voucher to experience the "Pink Tea" and after much confusion and many emails back and forth we found out that we were only entitled to the actual tea blend and not the actual cake! Lucas cancelled his reservation as he felt it was not worth it and more so as he was once an employee at the hotel so was over the excitement of going there. 

For me this meant much more as entering this competition hit my heart strings as it was in aid of cancer and it kept ringing in the back of my mind that it was the day I first put foot into this hotel that my mum passed away. I had made a reservation and thought this was the perfect thing to do on what would of been mum's birthday which was yesterday 13/10/12 and with the beautiful company of Aunty Laulie (Cashel's mum) who is visiting from S.A. (Funny how this worked out as Cashel and I are tea fanatics)We got there,drank our tea in unusual cups..( great blend of Silverneedle and Fruit Berries tea which the waiter reckons was great for our health) chatted,took a few pics and enjoyed watching the crowds arrive  in awe upon entering this famous iconic hotel in Dubai... 

Cheers to another unexpected and pleasant experience in Dubai! 

DND on...

This is what the next few days will look like....

3 month countdown!

01October and that means 3 months left to add more adventure and tales to your story for 2012!!!!

As you might recall from one of my previous posts I had recently reviewed my vision-board and it was really refreshing and fulfilling to face it head on to reflect on what I have achieved thus far versus what I had envisioned in the beginning of the year. 

So 3 months to go and I have decided to try to finish off this year with that energy that one feels at the beginning of the year when you so thrilled that a clean slate of possibility awaits and you start thinking of things that you would like to achieve for the year. That promising feeling that a new year brings and that energy is amazing. Yes the year has sung it's song and is finishing it off however there is no reason you can't start or do something that you had intended to do this year. 

So yes I challenge you to stop "being busy" and feeding into excuses and get it going....

Unless you take that first step you not going to get things moving....

-Start a new hobby was it?

-Spend more time with family and friends?

-Focus on your health?

-Commit to studying something new?

-Find a peaceful ten minutes for yourself every morning?

-Start planning a much needed holiday?

Whatever it is you can do it! Tap into that hopefully positive feeling and energy that January brought for you and try to play it out in the last few lines of this year's song...